Throwing the Baby Out with the Bath Water

     Upon coming to the stark realization that we have been duped and deceived–especially in the deeper matters of the heart–we tend to throw the proverbial baby out with the bath water.  How could I have been such a fool? we ask ourselves, and then we turn our back on the offending entity.

     Burned by a woman, a man can become bitter and cynical towards women in general, looking at the entire gender as if they all were like the one that hurt him.  Of course, it can work both ways.

     The same scenario can happen in a religious sense.  It happened to me.  I was raised by a mother who took me to church and taught me Bible verses.  Mom and Dad took us to church.  But the things spoken by the preacher–those things of hope, love, and joy in God–these things were not happening in my home life.  Dad and Mom could not get along.  The fussing and fighting led to a divorce.

     The brunt of all this came crashing down on me at 11 years of age.  “Uh, son.  Your mother is leaving today with your sister.  We are going to leave it up to you.  Which one of us do you want to live with?

     “What?”  I stood there in shock.  Just yesterday, my name was in the newspaper on top of the standings, the Little League Baseball’s leading hitter–the batting champ!  Known and loved by all.  And now my Mom is moving out and I’ve got to choose which one to be loyal to basically.  I mean, this is 1958, for crying out loud.  It’s supposed to be like a Leave it to Beaver type family.

     So I looked at Mom, standing there clutching my 8 year old sister, and I looked at Dad, standing there resolute, firm-jawed, justified in his ossified stand, and not wanting Dad to be alone, I chose to stay with Dad.

     And that was the last time I went to a church house for several years.  Ten years later at 21, right after I got back from Vietnam, I started in earnest my quest for the truth–about God, about world affairs, about everything–but I did not go back to the denominational churches.  I turned first to the major Eastern religions.  But I did not find in them what I knew was true even then, in that the old self had to die.  The old nature that we are born with was selfish and it needed to go.  But nowhere in the Eastern religions is this problem directly addressed.

     I began to drift into nihilism’s abyss of nothingness, and had the sickening thought that the truth was this: that there was no absolute truth. 

     And it was then when I was 24, that I was invited to a Christian meeting in a home.  And the man teaching from the Bible quoted Romans 6:6.  “Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with Christ…”  And I stopped him right there and asked, “Is it talking about getting rid of the old self–about the old ego dying?”

     And he said, yes, that it has already died on the cross with Christ along with all its sins and sinning nature.  And if you believe in Christ’s resurrection in you, you can be raised to walk in a newness of life.

     And I went, Wow!  This is life changing.  This is what I’ve been searching for.  And that very day started a 14 year missionary period in my life. 

     I see now that for those ten years I had turned my back on Christianity and the Bible, blaming God for my misery.  I had thrown out the baby (Christ) with the bathwater (my pain).   But God is merciful and loving and forgiving, and He led me back to Him.     Kenneth Wayne Hancock

{If you want to read more on the “cross experience” and other things, check out my website where I have my two books posted in their entirety.   That website is    My books can be ordered at}


Filed under Christ, crucified with Christ, God, old self, resurrection, sons of God

4 responses to “Throwing the Baby Out with the Bath Water

  1. LP

    I think you would agree with this statement from Warren Wiersbe: “People’s lives are not changed by judgement; people’s lives are changed by grace.” I think you know all about that.
    Thanks, Wayne, for including me.

  2. actschurch

    After this did you decide that you had unfairly lumped the denominational church into this seemingly poor experience with Christianity, or did you associate the denominational church with the reason for the poor experience?

  3. wayneman5

    Actschurch, a good question. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say. Today I see that the early denominational experience taught my young mind about Christ, along with Mom’s Bible stories, etc., and that was a time of fruitful seedplanting. Most denominations, however, have lost the spiritual edge of their earlier founders and pastors and teachers, insomuch that they rarely teach about the cross experience (R0mans 6:1-6). I have read sermons by Martin Luther, John Wesley, and several others that speak of the death of self and the subsequent indwelling of the Spirit by faith, bringing a, yes, life free from sin and sinning. So, now I see denominations as way stations, stops along the pilgrimage to the Eternal City. They provide a needed warm place to nurture a young soul, but they do not feed a babe in Christ the “meat of the word” so that they may grow up into “young men and fathers” (I John 2:12-14). Denominations are rife with modernistic doctrines and most just do not teach the apostles’ doctrine. So, it is a mixed bag. Good at first, but the longer you stay in one of the denom. church houses, the more old leaven doctrine you are fed, and the longer it takes to purge out that error. KWHancock

  4. sally

    one more thing we are not gods nor will we ever be there is one God and one God only. we will be his servents in the after life.

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