Forgiveness–How to Love Your Wife As Christ Loved the Church

As men, we are admonished to “love our wives as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it.”  We are to love our wives in the same manner that Christ loves all of His followers.  How does He love us all?  He forgives.  No matter the faults that we have done–He  has a forgiving heart toward us.

We are also admonished “to be not bitter” against our wives.  Men become bitter toward their wives when they do not forgive them.

But some man will ask, Forgive them of what?  Forgive them for just being human.  Forgive them for not being perfect perfect.  But we men have a problem doing this.  We hold on to small grudges and little snide attitudes.  We puff up and become indignant towards them.  We expect them to make the first move toward reconciliation.

But the biblical love is a forgiving love and is unconditional.  We should not love our wives because they love us first.  That is not loving our wives the way Christ loved all of us.  He loved us when we were unlovable.

This kind of love is, of course, not the “love” born from our original carnal nature.  This love is the “love from above”–the agape love, and women are wired by their Creator to respond to it.  In fact, this is the only kind of love that will reach them.

The Divine Relationship in Husband and Wife

There is a divine ratio and proportion going on here.                                               Husbands :  Wives ::  Christ : the body of Christ (His church, us)          Husbands are to love their wives the way Christ loves us.

And so we must look to why we, the body of Christ (the church), love God.  “We love God because He first loved us.”  We didn’t wake up one morning and decide that we were going to love God.  No.  He loved us first and gave Himself for us.  Christ laid down His mortal life, thereby expressing the greatest love a man can show another.  It was only then that we could be changed from a selfish, non-loving individual into one who loves another.

In like manner, God demands that we love our wives unconditionally.  We love them first by forgiving them of any perceived shortcomings or wrongs towards us.  We forgive their imperfections, both outward and inward.

We are asked by God to love them as He loves us by using great patience in waiting and hoping for the harvest of reciprocal love, joy and peace.

Yes, this is difficult to do on our own strength.  It takes faith in God’s power, for we do not have it within ourselves to love our wives the way Christ loves us all.  Again, that love is from above and not from the earthly nature we are born with.

We can only get it from God.  This kind of forgiveness and love cannot be obtained through the usual means available to man.  It must be asked for from Him who is LOVE.  For “God is love.”  He, therefore, is the only One who has what He is asking us to dispense to another.

Man’s Problem in Forgiving and Loving

It takes humility to approach the altar of Divine Love and ask God to channel His Essence through us to our wives.  To say to Him, Please help me love her with the forgiveness that yields sweet acceptance–the way You have accepted us into Your Presence.  I cannot do this on my own; my heart is too small.  I know this now.  Help me.  Flow Love through me to her.  Thank You.      KWH

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Filed under agape, forgiveness, husbands and wives, Love from Above

7 responses to “Forgiveness–How to Love Your Wife As Christ Loved the Church

  1. Sounds very noble, and every wife expects it from her husband, but why are there marriage shipwrecks, stormy situations at home and children rebellious?

    You need the Holy Spirit to sanctify you from the darkness that troubles your wife and children relationships and keeps peace at home and at place of work.

    Sanctification is a life long process. who can fight the devil that oppress you none other but Holy Spirit our savior and God not man of flesh can do the work of God to fight his adversary.

  2. wayneman5

    Derick, thanks for the comment. Pride is the culprit that strains marriages. Men must take the lead in the humility department. We must “man up” and love the wife as Christ love us first, being the example. They will respond to the love-from-above, which is the theme of this article. But it does take the Spirit of God flowing through us to get it done, and that takes humility to ask for His help. Wayneman

  3. Larry

    Guilty as charged, Wayneman.

    • wayneman5

      LP, we have all been found guilty and are weighed in the balances….whoa, that is a bit heavy, but thanks unto Christ for helping us through all our trials…WH

  4. Tim

    My wife is divorcing me and is in love with someone else. I pray she makes the Lord happy by canceling the divorce which would glorify him and I too would be delighted.
    I hope she sees his love through me.

    • Tim, may God bless you for your good attitude during this rough time in your life. Trials do come to purify our faith; we know that, but the break-up of a married couple is in a league all by itself for toughness. My parents divorced when I was 11. God bless you richly.

  5. Joseph

    I like the message

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