The other day I happened onto a blog by a person who says she has BPD–“borderline personality disorder and other mental illnesses as well.” As I read her post entitled “I Am Worthless, Pointless, and Hopeless,” I saw how her condition was destroying her. She confessed that she was contemplating suicide and showed photos of her cutting herself with a razor blade and yearning to end her emotional misery through taking her own life.
I immediately thought of the time that Christ encountered “a man with an unclean spirit, who was dwelling in the tombs.” He was “always, night and day…in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.” Christ went on to cast the unclean spirit out of the man, who later was found “sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind.” The man even wanted to go with Him. But Christ told him to “tell them how great things the Lord has done for you, and has had compassion on you” (Mark 5: 1-19).
And so I was moved to write this comment to her post:
My darling girl,
There is another way to end all the pain and misery besides offing the physical body. The death of the old self, the old ego, the old nature that we were born with, that old blue monkey crouched on our shoulder, screaming in our ear to do bad things to ourselves and others–yes, that selfish old adamic nature must die–not the body, mind you–the old heart inside of us, the old spirit that we have always been–that must die.
I searched for 5 years desperately seeking solace and was led to the pits of nothingness. Then, miraculously, while I tripped out on “sillysideburns” one day, it came to me: The old self had to die, not the body…I studied all the philosophies and world religions and did not find out how it is done.
But then, a wise man, seeing my plight, told me, “You need to die with Christ on the cross. Just let all the bad inside of you go, by revelation, up on that cross, and let your old selfish self die. When He died, you died. When He was buried, you were buried, and when you truly believe that He arose from the dead, then you will arise from the dead, too. And you will walk in a newness of life. You can read all about it in Romans 6 in your Bible.”
“Why doesn’t the churches teach this? Because I know they don’t.”
The wise man replied, “Most of them don’t have the truth about real deliverance from sin, which like a serpent, coils around our inner being and has us enslaved. But this truth whereof I speak will deliver you, once and for all. You are enslaved for now. Follow my words and you’ll be free from the bondage you are suffering.”
And so, after reading all the books from the East and the West with no surcease from the emotional pain I was experiencing, I did it. And a complete change happened in my life. The drink, the smoke (of all kinds), the obsession with music, the womanizing, the cursing, the depression, et al, left. And it has never come back in all these 40 years.
I hear your cry, little one. Read more here on my blog, ImmortalityRoad.wordpress.com
You are not alone… Wayneman