Tag Archives: unrequited love

Adding the Patience of God–Why Christians Must Go Through Trials

Peter tells us to add patience, which is endurance, to our faith.  This is an attribute of the Holy Spirit, a part of God’s “divine nature.”  Patience/endurance is part of God’s nature, but questions arise.   So, what has He endured?  What sufferings did He endure?  What is it about His divine nature that is patient and enduring?

We all have a good idea of what the Son of God endured.  We know painfully of His physical and mental torture on the cross.  But it is the spiritual sufferings He endured that were the worst.  Nothing is worse than to be betrayed by those you love.  The betrayal and conspiracy against Him brought much grief and pain, enduring sinners against Himself.  “He was in the world, and the world was made by Him, and the world knew Him not” (John 1: 10).

But God’s sufferings go back beyond the Son’s time of anguish.  If we go back to the beginning, we begin to see that the Father Himself endured with much longsuffering the forces of the very adversary that He positioned as such.  God created and, yes, commissioned the devil to be the “accuser of the brethren.”  That was Satan’s job–to create havoc, doubt, and despair–as God ordained it.

Now some will hold me to task on this point.  So I will point us to the book of Job, the first chapter.  The sons of God are assembled in a meeting, and Satan appears with them.  God asked him what he had been doing.  Satan responded that he was just doing his job, going about his business, going to and fro in the earth.  And what business was that?  God tells us in His next breath.  “Have you considered my servant Job?”  Then Satan tells God that You won’t let me touch Him because You have blessed him and have protected him.  Then God gives Satan permission to bring on much persecution and sufferings onto Job (1: 6-12).

Inexplicable as it seems to our little finite minds, God has Satan creating sufferings for His righteous children!  God says, “I change not” and that He is “the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

So we can deduce that God has ordained a certain amount of  sufferings, tribulations, trials, and temptations for each of us [Boy, that was difficult to write down, but I told God that I would publish what He gives me from His word].

So God ordains sufferings, “for whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives” (Hebrews 12: 6).  There it is by two witnesses; there are many more.  But He is enduring those very sufferings that come down on us.  Remember our parents about to use the rod of correction on us saying, This hurts me more than it hurts you.

But God ordained and ordered His own sufferings to be endured down through the ages.  If we understand this about our Creator, we get into His mind a little more deeply, moving us closer to comprehending why we must suffer and why we must endure trials and tribulations–the very sufferings which bring about the adding of patience/endurance, which is a crucial part of God’s divine nature.

Betrayal–The Suffering Most Dreaded

If a person is called and chosen by God to be His son or daughter, they will suffer a crippling betrayal at the hands of someone they love or trusted.  Betrayal is the thing we most fear in human relationships.  It is a heartbreaking, senseless infliction of utmost spiritual pain that the natural thinking human being finds absolutely no use for.  Some never fully get over it.  Some are hampered from ever giving their heart to someone’s trust again.  But some go through the fiery trial stronger and purer.  Their hearts are the right stuff as God deals with them to pardon and forgive, thus molding them into His image, the image of selfless love.

God Himself went through sufferings of unrequited love.  He took as His wife a special chosen people Israel (12 tribes, true offspring of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob/Israel).  They betrayed Him, whoring after false gods, after He had lavished His goodness upon them.

God endured with much longsuffering these things.  To be like Him, His spiritual sons and daughters must go through these sufferings, also.  It is called “suffering for righteousness sake.”

We all must grow up into Him and leave the “little children of God” behavior behind.  Little children are mostly alive for what they can receive from the Father.  We must grow up; we must spiritually mature.  If we are chosen by Him as one of His elect, we will mature as we endure the trials He has planned for us [I know; that’s a tough one].  May He bless you all with more of His presence–patience’s big payoff.   Kenneth Wayne Hancock

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Unrequited Love–The Ultimate Heartbreak

     I have a confession to make.  I cried today.  Unrequited love–life’s great theme seen in our literature, arts, and song.  It gets you every time, this “loving someone and that love not returned in kind.”

     I was listening to Jose Luis Perales and Alejandro Fernandez sing Perales’s “Por que’ esta soledad” (Why This Loneliness?).  I was galloping with the country rock rhythm, at once soaring with the music and yet saddened by the lyrics.  A rough translation of some of the words:

     WHEN I SEE YOU LEAVE AT HIS SIDE/ Cuando te veo ir a su lado/

SMILING SO HAPPY, CARESSING HIM/ sonriendo tan feliz, acariciandolo,

HANGING SHAMELESSLY FROM HIS WAIST/ colgada sin pudor de su cintura…

AND ME, SO IN LOVE WITH YOU/ Y yo enamorado de ti

IN LOVE JUST LIKE THE FIRST DAY WHEN I DIDN’T KNOW THE MOST BITTER SIDE OF LOVE/ AND I ASK MYSELF, WHAT HAPPENED TO US?  ALL THE TENDERNESS I GAVE YOU/

WHY THIS LONELINESS?/  Por que’ esta soledad?

     And at that instant, I thought of the greatest of unrequited loves the world has ever known–God loving mankind, and it not returned in kind.  And that’s what took the catharsis to the next level where my eyes got wet, the tears fell, and the heart broke.

     These words came to mind.  He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not. He came unto his own, and his own received him not…He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not…(John 1-10-11; Isaiah 53:3). 

     I needed this type of catharsis.  It hurts when our halting overtures of love are not returned in kind.  If we will multiply that pain by one thousand, then perhaps we might get a glimpse into the heart of God, into the ultimate heartbreak.  And that is a good place for us to be.     Kenneth Wayne Hancock     

    

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Throwing the Baby Out with the Bath Water

     Upon coming to the stark realization that we have been duped and deceived–especially in the deeper matters of the heart–we tend to throw the proverbial baby out with the bath water.  How could I have been such a fool? we ask ourselves, and then we turn our back on the offending entity.

     Burned by a woman, a man can become bitter and cynical towards women in general, looking at the entire gender as if they all were like the one that hurt him.  Of course, it can work both ways.

     The same scenario can happen in a religious sense.  It happened to me.  I was raised by a mother who took me to church and taught me Bible verses.  Mom and Dad took us to church.  But the things spoken by the preacher–those things of hope, love, and joy in God–these things were not happening in my home life.  Dad and Mom could not get along.  The fussing and fighting led to a divorce.

     The brunt of all this came crashing down on me at 11 years of age.  “Uh, son.  Your mother is leaving today with your sister.  We are going to leave it up to you.  Which one of us do you want to live with?

     “What?”  I stood there in shock.  Just yesterday, my name was in the newspaper on top of the standings, the Little League Baseball’s leading hitter–the batting champ!  Known and loved by all.  And now my Mom is moving out and I’ve got to choose which one to be loyal to basically.  I mean, this is 1958, for crying out loud.  It’s supposed to be like a Leave it to Beaver type family.

     So I looked at Mom, standing there clutching my 8 year old sister, and I looked at Dad, standing there resolute, firm-jawed, justified in his ossified stand, and not wanting Dad to be alone, I chose to stay with Dad.

     And that was the last time I went to a church house for several years.  Ten years later at 21, right after I got back from Vietnam, I started in earnest my quest for the truth–about God, about world affairs, about everything–but I did not go back to the denominational churches.  I turned first to the major Eastern religions.  But I did not find in them what I knew was true even then, in that the old self had to die.  The old nature that we are born with was selfish and it needed to go.  But nowhere in the Eastern religions is this problem directly addressed.

     I began to drift into nihilism’s abyss of nothingness, and had the sickening thought that the truth was this: that there was no absolute truth. 

     And it was then when I was 24, that I was invited to a Christian meeting in a home.  And the man teaching from the Bible quoted Romans 6:6.  “Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with Christ…”  And I stopped him right there and asked, “Is it talking about getting rid of the old self–about the old ego dying?”

     And he said, yes, that it has already died on the cross with Christ along with all its sins and sinning nature.  And if you believe in Christ’s resurrection in you, you can be raised to walk in a newness of life.

     And I went, Wow!  This is life changing.  This is what I’ve been searching for.  And that very day started a 14 year missionary period in my life. 

     I see now that for those ten years I had turned my back on Christianity and the Bible, blaming God for my misery.  I had thrown out the baby (Christ) with the bathwater (my pain).   But God is merciful and loving and forgiving, and He led me back to Him.     Kenneth Wayne Hancock

{If you want to read more on the “cross experience” and other things, check out my website where I have my two books posted in their entirety.   That website is   YahwehIstheSavior.com    My books can be ordered at amazon.com}

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